At the tender age of three months, my adoptive mother (pharoh's daughter)
found me floating helplessly in a basket down the Nile River.
. . .Wait a sec! . . . That was Charleston Heston . . I mean Moses!
I was born three miles south of Hodgenville, KY in a backwoods log cabin
and grew up to become the sixteenth president of the United States. . . . . Not buying it, are you? . . I didn't think so.
How about this. I'm a 51-year-old lifelong Hoosier who's led pretty
much a boring and inconsequential existence. Sure, you believe this tripe. And, as well you should. . . It's
true!
My life pretty much parallels that of Phil Belcher of "Getting In The Game".
I grew up on a farm, where I envied the livestock because they got more attention than me. I attended Parochial school
where my GPA was . . . "nun" your business.
After high school I attended Purdue University and eventually got an associates
degree from Indiana University. Whenever the two schools meet in football for the "Old Oaken Bucket" game, I get schizophrentic.
Actually, most of the times I just root for the cheerleaders.
For the past 29 years I've worked for United Parcel Service, where I'm currently
a delivery driver. It's a tough job, and it has it's UPS and downs. . . (did I really have to add that?) My official
title is "Northwest Wayne County distributor of corrugated containers." Okay, fine . . I'm a delivery boy!
I was married for 23 years and raised two lovely daughters. (To cast
my vote in the great debate; girls are much better than boys.)
I divorced and remarried my soul mate (doesn't everybody say that right
before they chop up their spouse with a hachet?) and I'm now the reluctant stepfather to two preteen boys, (which reinforces
my theory . . . girls are much better than boys.) On Sept. 23, 2005, my wife Karen and I gave birth to my third daughter,
Kasiti Makenna. I did most of the work!
I love sports, but at my age they don't love me. I've taken more pain
pills than a stunt man at the next Bruce Willis movie.
I play softball, volleyball, basketball, and tennis; and I make frequent
stops at the emergency room and Taco Bell drive-up window.
Someday I hope to become an established writer and sell lots of books.
That's where you come in! Be a bud! Buy my book!
Luv ya! Phil
